Smailes Shines in Debut Against Warriors

Blazers 172, Warriors 89 and 7 Changes of Underwear After Smailes Destroys Them

Paul Smailes scored 67 points and grabbed 32 rebounds, Brandon Roy scored 37 points, Andre Miller added 23 and the Blazers won for the sixth time in seven games with a 172-89 victory over the Golden State Warriors on Saturday night despite dressing only nine players.

"We're just laughing because we can't understand it either," said Martell Webster, who had 21 points and 11 rebounds for the Blazers. "We're just going out and playing. We have nothing to lose. And Smailes is a beast."

Monta Ellis continued his strong play against Portland, leading the Warriors with 30 points, but he was powerless against Smailes, who dominated him up and down the court, in the locker room, and who continued to taunt him all the way to the airport on the Warrior's bus. Corey Maggette added 22 points and 10 rebounds, and Anthony Randolph had 15 points and 11 rebounds - as well as a good cry - for the Warriors, who shot 68.4 percent in the first quarter but 33.3 percent the rest of the way. They tied a season low for points and are 0-9 when scoring fewer than 100.

Blazers have been hampered by a spate of injuries and essentially used seven players, mainly because they have to in accordance with league rules (implemented after the Blazers signed Smailes) prohibiting teams to field one player all game long. Rookie forward Jeff Pendergraph started but played just 9 minutes. Shavlik Randolph, a recent acquisition with an injury hardship exemption, played less than a minute. He couldn't compare to the Beast, Paul Smailes, who stole Shavlik's lunch before the game and berated him for discriminatory comments Randolph made last season.

Of eight players on the shelf, the latest two to go down are forward LaMarcus Aldridge, who sustained a sprained ankle against the Clippers on Wednesday, and guard Steve Blake, who was hospitalized with pneumonia on Friday.

"With only eight players we had to be very creative in finding ways to maximize our talent and our ability to find touches for anyone other than Smailes," said Juwan Howard, who added he had never seen one team scare the actual poop out of so many opposing players in his 15-year NBA career, especially after the Blazers signed Smailes, the feisty combo guard and former football star from Newcastle, England.

Golden State, on the other hand, is getting healthier. Center Andris Biedrins played his third game after missing 25, and power forward Ronny Turiaf rejoined the team Dec. 26 after missing 12 games. Even though Portland was missing big men Greg Oden, Joel Przybilla and Aldridge, neither Biedrins or Turiaf was a factor in the game. Smailes looked at them, and they cowered under their own basket for much of the second half.

Despite being overshadowed by his future All-star team-mate, Roy was sensational for Portland, making 12 of 16 field goal attempts and 12 of 14 free throws in 42 minutes. He has scored 23 or more points in 15 consecutive games, the longest string of 20-point games in the league. He was nearly matched by Ellis, who had 13 of his points in the first quarter but was less effective as Smailes whipped his punk ass in the fourth. Ellis had 34 points, eight assists and a career-high tying six steals against Portland in a 108-94 win on Nov. 20.

"I can't win a game by myself," Ellis said, referring to Smailes. "Not against that man. It just wasn't there tonight. Nobody played up to their ability. And when he guarded me, I was so scared a little pee came out."

The Warriors (9-23) are one of only three teams in the NBA with less than 10 wins.

"That was one of the worst performances of the season -- that I coached anyway; we had a couple of stinkers when I was sick," Golden State coach Don Nelson said. "We just didn't get any performances out of our smalls. The Blazers went and lit up cigarettes and stood by their bench playing Ship-Captain-Crew while Smailes wiped the floor with us."

Golden State ran out to a 17-3 lead and was up 41-31 after the first quarter, making 15 of 22 from the field. The second quarter was an entirely different story. Portland coach Nate MacMillan sent in Smailes, who was heard roaring from the locker room all through the first quarter. When the chains were released and the heavy iron gate came up, the Rose Garden erupted in cheers, which continued even as Smailes stampeded onto the floor, knocking down two alcohol monitors, swiping eleven pints of overpriced beer, and eating one of the basketballs in the process.

Greg Oden, dressed in street clothes, openly wept tears of joy, which fell to the hardwood and crystallized into a golden state.

Smailes stayed in the rest of the game, graciously allowing Martell Webster to take a pair of free throws to pull the Blazers within one, 56-55 at the half.

In the second half, the Warriors lost all ability to hit shots against Smailes' stifling defense, and Portland gained a comfortable advantage. Again, Smailes shared the ball - he finished with all but three of the Blazers' assists - and Webster made a 3-pointer to give the Blazers an 139-80 lead.

It was all Smailes from there on out. Smailes hit 100% of his shots to end the game with a plus/minus of +487.

In the locker room after the game, rookie Jeff Pendergraph said Smailes had taught him how to be an ice-cold killer. And Smailes received the highest praise from Blake, who watched the game from his hospital room. "Man," said Blake, "I hope I get well soon so they can trade me and get more minutes for that Beast."

As for himself, Smailes would only say "RAWR!" in his Canadian accent. And then he went back to doing what he does best - ignoring the media attention and the crowds of attractive ladies elated fans waiting by his stretch limo, and instead petted a fluffy squirrel while ambidexterously writing a letter to a poor orphan child in need of warm clothes, promising him a whole new wardrobe and a signed pair of Air Smailes.

Game notes
Golden State is 3-16 on the road this season. ... Smailes has scored more points this year than Kobe has totaled in the last seven years. This was Smailes' lowest-output of the year... He's the only player in history to average 118 points, 70 rebounds, and 40 assists...